Oct 29, 2005

Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off...NOT

For those of you new to the site, welcome! Freaky Friday is the designated day for sex talk on my blog.

***IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER*** This is sexually explicit material and may not be suitable for younger members of our blogging audience.

Sorry for the delay...I know it's Saturday, but I have a good excuse. Yesterday I was furiously getting ready to go for a long weekend to visit my best friend and her boyfriend who recently moved to Waco. My day included getting (making) our Frankenstein and Bride of Frankenstein costumes, packing, getting the oil changed, driving the two hours south to Waco (which was 3 hours because of rush hour) and attending a steak cookout. (The costume party is tonight...digital pics to come.) My day was further complicated by my daughter's car wreck. Nobody was injured and it wasn't her fault, but I did have to help her with the tow truck and insurance claim and go get her. That was a couple of hours out of my day I really didn't have to spare.

ANYWAY, enough about why Freaky Friday is on Saturday.

The topic today is by request. BTW, I take requests for a sexual subject near and dear to your heart...or anywhere else for that matter. I probobaly wouldn't have ever thought of alcohol as the subject of sex because:
a) I'm ALWAYS the designated driver
b) I do not find drunks attractive in the least
c) My inhibition quotient is already low without the use of drugs or alcohol

BUT it is true that alcohol can be an aphrodisiac as the title of this blog (song) can attest to. And if you partake on occasion, it does tend to loosen what is usually tight. (Wait a minute, I thought tight was a good thing in terms of sex???)

I think these Brad Paisley lyrics would be appropriate here:

I can make anybody pretty
I can make you believe any lie
I can make you pick a fight
with somebody twice
your size. . .

Well I've been known to cause a few breakups
and I've been known to cause a few births
I can make you new friends
Or get you fired from work.

I got blamed at your wedding reception
for your best man's emberrasing speech
and also for those naked pictures of you at the beach
I've influenced kings and world leaders
I helped Hemingway write like he did
and I`ll bet you a drink or two that I can make you
put that lampshade on your head . .

And since the day I left Milwaukee
Lynchburg, Bordeaux, France
Been makin the bars
With lots of big money
(crowd:) and helpin white people dance
I got you in trouble in high school
and college now that was a ball
you had some of the best times
you'll never remember with me

Speaking of alcohol, remember the steak cookout last night? Well, alcohol flowed freely the entire night...Jack Daniels and Diet Coke, Coors light plus other assorted beers, and lots of bottles of merlot. If you'd lit a match in the place it would have gone up in flames just from the CH3OH being exhaled into the place. And I will admit, on the drive back into Waco my husband was feeling a bit more RANDY than usual.

As mentioned before, I'm the designated driver, so I was drinking virgin Diet Coke. It's not that drinking is against my religion or anything, but besides the fact that SOMEONE has to be the designated driver, just one "social" drink can give me a whopping hangover the next day. I may be alergic to the stuff.

And being around a bunch of drunks makes me nervous at the very least...which tends to tighten up things that are usually loose. So needless to say my husband did NOT get lucky last night.

So here's my hypothesis. I think alcohol affects men and women differently. The precise amount of alcohol makes men more horny. (Too much and they are of absolutely no use to you.) On the other hand, alcohol makes women more pliable. You can see where a more horny man and a more pliable woman can work like magic OR be a dangerous combination, depending on the situation...

Oh, believe me, I've been drunk before. And I've paid the price big time the next day. And during those times my good sense was a bit...uh...how to say this...off. So I can see how along with a woman's inhibitions which fly out the window when you drink, your judgment goes right along with it. You just flat don't give a damn anymore. Phrases like "what the hell, just this once" and "if it feels good, do it," tend to replace the word "No!"

And frankly, I think men know this. And believe it or not, I think they use this knowledge to their advantage! Shocking, I know, but true.

As far as my husband goes, perhaps he will get lucky tonight after the Halloween party. It will be Frankenstein and his Bride's honeymoon, after all.


Duke_of_Earle said...

See? That wasn't so hard. (Oops! More innuendo!)


Bill said...

While my enjoyment of a cold beer is pretty well known, what's not so obvious is that I very, very rarely drink to excess.

When I talk about a "couple cold ones" that what it is, a couple, and not a couple of dozen.

You're 100% right about how 'useful' an intoxicated man is, and to me, an intoxicated woman is nearly as useless.

I think guys tend to try and use the knowledge to their advantage, but, from what I know, too many don't know their own limits, and while that woman they've been chasing is now thinking "just this once"... they're already past the point of no return.

Hale McKay said...

Wasn't there a country western song or two befitting this subject? One I think went something like this...
"She might not be much to see, but she looks good through the bottom of a glass."
and of course
"Don't coming a drinking with loving on your mind."