Aug 3, 2005

I Like Back Packs, And I Cannot Lie

The art director in the cubicle next to mine brought her young son in after lunch today. He's a very well-mannered eight year old who spent the afternoon busying himself with glue sticks, paper, and highlighters. Office supplies CAN be fun. I kinda felt sorry for him having to waste the day at the boring office and I asked him if he was ready to go back to school.

His answer was an immediate "NO!"

With the summer only half gone, I thought he might be bored with so many days left of nothing to do. Then I found out. Summer is starts in his school district next Monday! WTF!!! Isn't this just July? Oh,'s August something, but still...

As I questioned him further he said the reason he wasn't ready was because there were soooooooo many things he needed: a new backpack, map pencils, notebook paper (I forget how literal kids are.)

My 20 year old (who decided he wasn't college material) confided in me the other day that he really misses going to get school supplies. (You don't need school supplies when you work on the floor crew at Wal-Mart.) I told him if he went to college I would buy him some. He was not amused.

Frankly, I miss those school supplies, too. Especially the smells. God, there's nothing like a fresh box of Crayola crayons, the Frito-salty scent of school paste, the unforgettable fragrance of an eraser, and don't forget the slightly ancient aroma of knowledge that permeates a stack of textbooks. Deep sigh.

On a final note, Target wins the award for best back-to-school commercial this year. If you haven't seen it, they've taken the rap song "Baby Got Back" by Sir Mix-a-lot and changed the words to "Baby Got Backpack." Wish I'd thought of it. Pure genius!

In case you're wondering, here are the orignial lyrics:

I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung, wanna pull out your tongue
'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh baby, I wanna get wit'cha
And take your picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But with that butt you got makes me feel so horny
Ooh, Rump-o'-smooth-skin
You say you wanna get in my Benz?
Well, use me, use me
'Cause you ain't that average groupy
I've seen them dancin'
The hell with romancin'
She's sweat, wet,
Got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette
I'm tired of magazines
Sayin' flat butts are the thing
Take the average black man and ask him that
She gotta pack much back
So, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!)
Has your girlfriend got the butt? (Hell yeah!)
Tell 'em to shake it! (Shake it!) Shake it! (Shake it!)
Shake that healthy butt!
Baby got back!

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