Nov 18, 2005

10 things men want to know about women

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For those of you new to the site, welcome! Freaky Friday is the designated day for sex talk on my blog.

***IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER*** This is sexually explicit material and may not be suitable for younger members of our blogging audience.

1. Do you love me even when I haven’t bathed or shaved and my nose hairs and toenails need trimming?

Yes. (But don’t plan on getting lucky.)

2. Am I the best you ever had?

Yes. (Within the last decade.)

3. Do you mind if I look at other women?

No. (If you don’t mind a knee to the groin.)

4. Do you use tears to manipulate me?

No. (When you act like a dick, it really makes me cry.)

5. Do you ever imagine I’m someone else while we’re making love?

No. (I’m imagining I’m the Penthouse centerfold you’re imagining.)

6. Why won’t you swallow afterward?

The same reason you won’t kiss me afterward.

7. Do you ever fake it?

No. (Except during months with R, Y or U in them.)

8. Would you be willing to act out my sexual fantasy?

Yes. (As long as it doesn’t involve another person, place or thing.)

9. Why are you so bitchy during that time of the month?

You’d be bitchy, too, if your face broke out, you retained water, your stomach cramped and you bled from your private parts for 5 days. (As a matter of fact, you’d probably have to be hospitalized.)

10. Why don’t you just come right out and tell me what you want?

If you can’t figure it out…then never mind!

3 comments:

Duke_of_Earle said...

Ouch. I'm not sure I wanted to know all that. Or as my daughter would say, "TMI!"

John

Mike Ashley said...

Sounds like a pleasant exchange of over bacon and eggs.

Bill said...

I don't care what it was, it was freakin' funny!

I don't usually enjoy these sort of 'one-way' exchanges, but this one was pretty funny...

"I'm imagining I'm the centerfold you're imagining" - heh-heh