May 26, 2005

Sex Toys and Tupperware

For those of you new to the site, welcome! Freaky Friday is the designated day for sex talk on my blog.

***IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER*** This is sexually explicit material and may not be suitable for younger members of our blogging audience.

I have a friend who wanted to make some extra money. So I told her (sorta joking) I'd heard of some women who'd made lots of money selling adult "toys" at home parties kinda like Mary Kay and Tupperware. On the news there was a very successful "vibrator purveyor" (wow, that has a nice ring to it) in a small Texas town who had to move because it was against the law to transport more than six "toys" at a time through that particular county. We laughed about it and made some jokes about having a couple of boxes of those in your SUV along with the soccer team cupcakes. "Is that a dildo in your trunk or are you just happy to see me?"

The next thing I know, my friend's calling me up, asking if I want to host a Passion Party.

Well, uh, NO!!!

I don't want to invite my friends over to look at those battery-operated objects 'd pleasure! It's bad enough blogging about it in semi-anonymity. (At least you can't SEE my face turn red.) I think she was a little miffed when I told her I was really busy right now, since it WAS my idea. (Someday I'm going to learn to keep my mouth shut.) But she gave me a catalog and told me to let her know if I wanted anything.

Well, gee...what are these things, anyway? They're very pretty. Colorful plastic probes and egg-shaped devices that promise all kinds of miraculous bedroom improvements. But...I thought that's why I give up half of my king-size bed and wash dirty work shirts for...

Do I really need something that "feels like real" when I have access to something that IS real? I mean, it'd be different if I was single...

And some of these things look like animals. I can't say that I've EVER had a fantasy about an elephant...especially not a purple and pink one.

And then there are all kinds of flavored creams and tingling gels. Maybe I could try one of those? But where EXACTLY do I apply it? And do I apply it beforehand? During? On my husband? Does he put it on me? And do I tell him about it or do I surprise him with slippery, cherry-flavored body parts?

OR do I rub it on the elephant's nose?


Nankin said...

I got a real chuckle out of the home party concept for dildoes and accessories. Did they have any double ended models in the catalog? Two can play for the price of one. What a riot!

Elizabeth Kerri Mahon said...

The creams usually can be used either on yourself (for your husbands pleasure) or vice-versa. I have a friend who sells candles, maybe I should suggest she have passion parties instead! She might get more takers.

Robin said...

I think it is so funny that you suggested this in jest to her and she ACTUALLY DID IT!

I have been invited to a party like this but politely declined. I wouldn't want to cheapen something so beautiful with a pink or purple oil laden elephant! ;)

Brenda Bradshaw said...

Karyn! Shall I bring some of my toys to Reno? LOL! My little saying to men that try to hit on me: "I'd invite you over to play, but frankly my toys would scare you."

Karyn Lyndon said...

John: you have a really big mouth...even bigger than mine...and that's saying a lot.

Nankin: Thanks for laughing...I believe they do have a 2-fer. (Okay, I'm really having a hard time imagining that one...)

Elizabeth: thanks for the instruction. And tell your friend to give my friend a call.

Robin: It does give "there's an elephant in the room" a whole new

Brenda: You're just trying to rub it in that I'm not going to Reno. (Heavy sobbing and wailing.) With your expertise maybe you should consider being a Passion Party saleslady...then you won't have to knit anymore. (Oooops, see, I did it again. Me and my BIG mouth. Wonder if I can get Pasion Parties to give me referral fees?)

Bill said...

Oh... you shoulda gone!! Just imagine the blog material you would have gleaned from that party!!

Besides, you could have asked how those creams work!!

Karyn Lyndon said...

I haven't been invited to one...only to HOST one. I guess I wouldn't mind being an "innocent" guest.

(BTW...I try to avoid living my life in terms of blog But it may come to that...)

LuckySpinster said...

i went to one of these and thought i was pretty sophisticated but there was stuff there that i had no idea how to use.