May 26, 2005
Sex Toys and Tupperware
For those of you new to the site, welcome! Freaky Friday is the designated day for sex talk on my blog.
***IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER*** This is sexually explicit material and may not be suitable for younger members of our blogging audience.
I have a friend who wanted to make some extra money. So I told her (sorta joking) I'd heard of some women who'd made lots of money selling adult "toys" at home parties kinda like Mary Kay and Tupperware. On the news there was a very successful "vibrator purveyor" (wow, that has a nice ring to it) in a small Texas town who had to move because it was against the law to transport more than six "toys" at a time through that particular county. We laughed about it and made some jokes about having a couple of boxes of those in your SUV along with the soccer team cupcakes. "Is that a dildo in your trunk or are you just happy to see me?"
The next thing I know, my friend's calling me up, asking if I want to host a Passion Party.
Well, uh, NO!!!
I don't want to invite my friends over to look at those battery-operated objects 'd pleasure! It's bad enough blogging about it in semi-anonymity. (At least you can't SEE my face turn red.) I think she was a little miffed when I told her I was really busy right now, since it WAS my idea. (Someday I'm going to learn to keep my mouth shut.) But she gave me a catalog and told me to let her know if I wanted anything.
Well, gee...what are these things, anyway? They're very pretty. Colorful plastic probes and egg-shaped devices that promise all kinds of miraculous bedroom improvements. But...I thought that's why I give up half of my king-size bed and wash dirty work shirts for...
Do I really need something that "feels like real" when I have access to something that IS real? I mean, it'd be different if I was single...
And some of these things look like animals. I can't say that I've EVER had a fantasy about an elephant...especially not a purple and pink one.
And then there are all kinds of flavored creams and tingling gels. Maybe I could try one of those? But where EXACTLY do I apply it? And do I apply it beforehand? During? On my husband? Does he put it on me? And do I tell him about it or do I surprise him with slippery, cherry-flavored body parts?
OR do I rub it on the elephant's nose?
Posted by Karyn Lyndon at 5/26/2005 04:23:00 PM