May 23, 2005

While John Was Mowing (or dueling poetry)

While John was mowing his jungle-like acreage
And talking to the devil about Victorian hell
I was in Dallas staying cool and collected
Under a blue sky as clear as a bell

Yes it was hot, almost up to one hundred!
Without any wind...not even a breeze
And since it was May I wasn't quite used to
The high humidity and elevated degrees

So how is it possible that I could remain
Relaxed, refreshed and ever so cool?
Because as I looked at the brash sun above me
I was flat on my back, floating 'round in my pool.

I lounged and I swam and I splashed there all day
Drinking wine coolers and acting all flirty
Of course I didn't burn--I am smarter than that!
Rubbing my body with SPF Thirty

What about the grass? How did it get mowed?
I wouldn't be caught dead doing anything like that!
The fact is I sleep with the yard man quite often
He trims the front bushes and also pets my cat.

The pool is high maintenance to keep crystal clear
So how do I manage without going in debt?
I also bed the pool man on a regular basis
He makes everything so deliciously wet!

You might think my poetry has turned a bit dirty
With sexual innuendo running rampantly HOT
The fact is the yard- and the pool-man's my husband
Keeping everything spiffy. But a cat? There is not...



Duke_of_Earle said...

EXCELLENT!I am impressed! (And don't tell Carol, but I sleep with the cook, housekeeper, landscape lady, and even with my lady barber!)
Oh, also, we used to have a pool until one wall collapsed and the kids were grown and it would've been too expensive to "fix" so we filled it in. I remember (fondly) those days of "flat on my back floating round in my pool!"

Karyn Lyndon said...

LOL...we didn't build our pool till the kids were grown. My daughter wanted to know why we waited...I told her we couldn't afford it till she was off the payroll. (Son still lives here, but we rarely cross paths.)

Now our new pool IS our new baby and I actually think both of the kids are jealous of it. We gave birth to a bouncing 17,000 gallon baby girl three summers ago. And thanks to the decking and pool that takes up the entire backyard, the yard man doesn't have as much mowing to do.

Bill said...

Hey... one of the bonuses of owning an estate is sleeping with the help... I know my wife sleeps with the mechanic, the painter, the 'yard-boy'...

Cute poem... made me smile... No bushes out front either? :)

Duke_of_Earle said...

3,000! Check it out.

(Lantz, are you paying attention?)

Karyn Lyndon said...

The bushes are in front where they should

Karyn Lyndon said...

John, how am I ever going to catch up with your site meter? I was hoping not to have to resort to the naked you think Lantz would mind?

Duke_of_Earle said...

Yeah, he probably would if he's shopping your MS and telling the publishers your blog address. But what does HE know? They may adore naked pictures. (Those are the ones with the frames removed, right?)
Oh, also, you do NOT hate me. You LOVE me. I send traffic to your blog, I'm a great straight-person, and..., and... (Darn, there HAS to be more!)
Anyway, we bounce off each other well. In terms of writing! Get your mind out of the gutter!

Karyn Lyndon said...

Yeah, you're probably right. My target market (or anyone else, for that matter) isn't interested in seeing naked pics of me.

Re: love. You're right. I do love you. Since we've met my daily hits have increased by 57%.

Re: gutter. Please don't ask me to do that. My mind feels so "at home" there...

BTW...are you blogging at 9:58 a.m.? You better watch out...someone might report you to personnel. Oh, that's ARE personnel.