For those of you not familiar with my blog conversations with Brenda Bradshaw and Duke of Earl...the topic of sex has come up and been tossed about. So to spice things up over at my blog I thought I would write about something STEAMY HOT.
***IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER*** This is sexually explicit material and the advice given is strictly from my own experience. What works for me may not work for other women and I welcome their input.
I'll never forget. It was the year Clinton made talking about oral sex acceptable lunchroom conversation at work that I found out I was the ONLY one at my table who actually had vaginally-induced orgasms. Every one of the other ladies required oral stimulation to the point of ecstasy. I was shocked!
I can't even remember a time I had to fake an orgasm with my husband. And because of that I consider myself VERY lucky. That's because I can usually tell before we even start if it's not going to happen for me and I'm honest with him about it. And then most of the time he doesn't want to pursue it if it means only his pleasure. He's even turned down some perfectly good b.j.s I've offered to wait when the time is right for both of us. (I know...it's sweet and I love him for it.) It helps that we have relatively equal sexual appetites and that he is an extremely talented lover, especially with long, slow foreplay.
Okay, so that said, let's begin...
10. Don't just get naked and jump in bed. Start the lovemaking process before you're in the bedroom. Play footsie at dinner. Make out like teenagers in the car. Undress each other, kissing and touching down the hallway.
9. It's not a race. Quickies are for sex in a closet with a stranger. If you don't have time to do it right...don't do it at all. Also, don't say anything like "let's get this over, we're burning daylight."
8. Compliments help a woman feel sexy. Note: they must be sincere and meaningful to the moment. "I really loved your tuna caserole last night, honey" is not a good example.
7. It's not the size of the ship but the motion of the ocean really is true. And a slow, steady pace can be more effective than erratic pounding. And to Brenda's point...if the act is so physical that you're dripping sweat on your sweety...maybe you're working too hard.
6. Less is more. I know this is a hard concept for a guy who thinks if you can't fix something with a tool, a couple of kicks and throwing it across the room might work better. I'm reminded of my husband trying to insert a contact into his eye. Pushing quicker with more force doesn't always work.
5. Make some noise. Let her HEAR how turned on you are by what you're doing to her.
4. Tongue action of any kind is good: Teasing, twirling, tickling, licking, bathing, vibrating, plunging and all-around lapping up. Yeah, any of those.
3. Fingers are good, too. Touching, caressing, probing fingers can be just as erotic as a tongue...and you have 10 of them!!!
2. Never underestimate the power of a nipple. Lots of tongue action up there can REALLY pay off below. There is a direct line of "zowie!" from the nipple to the sweet spot that I think a lot of men don't understand.
And the most important way to insure the big O is...The higher you are on top of her the better. If your aim is straight in, you're not hitting the sweet spot. Come up...higher...higher...ahhh, that's it. Right there...
And one last thought for after the ecstasy...don't just toss her a towel and roll over. Cuddling afterwards is a must and almost as important to a woman as the big "O"...maybe even more. Not me, though. I want my O and cuddle, too.